Restaurants live and die by Craig Laban’s reviews. It’s almost incomprehensible how much weight is given to what this guy has to say. People get straight up fired, no questions asked, if Laban says something negative about them. Cooks, servers, owners, doesn’t matter.

The restaurant where I work opened three months ago and our review just came out today.

In an otherwise glowing review, I am literally the only person mentioned.

The service is pleasant enough but young, and a little scattered and inexperienced. It’s the only way to explain the look of panicked befuddlement on the food runners’ faces every time one emerged from the kitchen with food, as if they were thinking: “Oh God - where do these plates go?”

That’s me. I’m the food runner. The only one. 

Embarrassed is only a fraction of how I’m going to feel going into work in a couple hours.